Cops Corner

May 22
Translation: ‘Don’t come back.’
10:02 a.m. — 400 block of Gulf of Mexico Drive (GMD). Trespassing. Police found a Sarasota woman who spoke little English and issued her a trespass warning for a Longboat Key resort, while attempting to explain to her that the resort didn’t want her back because she caused a ruckus after being fired. Police got the sense that the feeling was mutual.

May 23
Where did I put the takeout menu?
10:47 a.m. – 1600 block of GMD. Fire. A cooking fire in the high-rise section of a resort condominium was put out. No damage was reported, unless you consider the food that went up in flames as a casualty.

This one’s a loaner
12:17 p.m. — 3100 block of GMD. Burglary. A man told police that someone broke into his rental car by smashing a window and stole his wallet and his wife’s cell phone.

Beach bum
4 p.m. — 100 block of North Shore Road. Sex Offense. A woman positively identified a man who made lewd comments to her while he was naked and masturbating on the beach. The man told police he didn’t think he did anything wrong because “there were other people naked, too.” He was issued a trespass warning for Longboat Key beaches.

May 24
Early-morning wakeup call
4:20 a.m. — 500 block of Sloop Lane. Disturbance. A houseguest called police when a woman started pounding on the front door and yelling at the houseguest to leave. When the police arrive, the homeowner came out and explained the yeller was a lady friend of his who had too much to drink and was sleeping it off.

Don’t take it out on your girlfriend
4:05 p.m. — Greer Island. Domestic Violence. Police arrested a man for domestic violence after he became enraged when the ladder from his boat got stuck in the propeller, and stranded him and his girlfriend. The girlfriend, who pressed charges, told police he began throwing things off of the boat before striking her.

May 26
Party animals leave behind clues
3:10 p.m. — 2800 block of Harbourside Drive. Suspicious Circumstance. A boat owner reported that someone had a party on his boat without permission. Police uncovered evidence that included two outdoor chair cushions, a pineapple, a cup of curdled milk, a bottle opener, a pants hanger, brown flip-flops, a pair of cotton underwear, a brown shirt, empty beer bottles and cigarette butts. But the best evidence uncovered was a sales receipt from The Beach House, which will be used to find the messy intruders.

May 28
The town didn’t take this one
12:06 p.m. — Intersection of GMD and Broadway. Larceny. A real-estate agent called police to report someone had taken his $50 for-sale sign that hangs in front of the former Longbeach Chevron property. Police called the town’s code-enforcement department to see if one of its employees had picked it up for a code violation. The department swore it’s one of the only signs in the area it hasn’t swiped for a violation.