Lifeline Productions follows a Girl Scout who grows up and conquers her demons

Addictions come in many forms —drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, social media, porn, shopping and awards. Yes, you read that last one right. It's one of the most all-American forms of addiction. Though applauded by all and ostensibly a positive pastime, going for the gold over and over can mask emotional deficiencies, the so-called hole in the soul.

People are taken aback when former professional athletes and child actors end up in the news for drug or alcohol-related offenses. But it's really not a big surprise. Those whose moment of glory has passed are trying to replace the high that comes from winning and being adored by audiences. 

But it's not just celebrities who can never get enough love; it's everybody checking their phone to see how many "likes" their Intagram or Facebook post got. As more than one self-help book has pointed out, we're all dopamine junkies now. 

Not everyone wants to see a show about someone who hit bottom, even if their life is on an upswing. Many people go to the theater to escape their problems, not to hear about somebody else's. 

But who can resist a show called "Begin Again Badge"? Who among us did not spend their childhood racking up badges as a Girl Scout, a Boy Scout and for the ultra-ambitious, Eagle Scout? Cristela Carrizales' premise to get audiences to join her on her twisting journey to self-acceptance is genius. Why? Because everyone can relate. 

Carrizales is a Latina raised by a single mom with abusive boyfriends. She's an ex-military wife who has lost more than 150 lbs. (about half her body weight) and has been sober for about three years. She and her former husband spent about a decade trying to conceive to no avail. In short, "Begin Again Badge" checks all the boxes for a story that has traditionally been ignored by mainstream theater. 

But beyond Carrizales' outsized talent and knockout humor, what makes "Begin Again Badge" so appealing is that its thread of looking for love in all the wrong places and learning to find it in the mirror rings true for many, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity or even socioeconomic class. 

Over breakfast at the Toasted Mango cafe, Carrizales talked about the journey that brought her to the stage of the Cook Theatre, where her show is playing through June 21. She ordered the house specialty of waffles topped with fresh mango and whipped cream along with a side of bacon. She took most of it with her in a takeout box because she can only eat small amounts of food at one time after undergoing surgery for weight loss.

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In both her show and the interview, what comes across is Carrizales' zeal for life and her no-holds-barred honesty. Whether it's joking about her late-in-life alcoholism that took three trips to rehab to get in check ("Chocolate cake is my true love, not booze") or being ghosted on dating apps, Carrizales is not afraid to laugh at herself. She wants you to laugh along.

During her childhood, Carrizales was surrounded by music because her grandmother was a fan of Broadway musicals. Asked to name her musical influences, she says without hesitation, "Babs, (shorthand for Barbra Streisand) and of course, Linda Ronstadt." 

Carrizales became even more of a Ronstadt fan after the folk rock superstar embraced her Mexican heritage by recording mariachi classics on "Canciones de mi padre" ("My Father's Songs"). 

Carrizales is proud of her Hispanic roots. She explains that her family has been in Texas longer than it's been a state. Still, when she was growing up in Dallas, assimilation was the order of the day in her neighborhood. "We weren't allowed to speak Spanish. We were kind of invisible," she recalls.

Cursed with a cloak of invisibility

One of the most heart-wrenching vignettes in "Begin Again Badge" is how Carrizales was always called Lisa by the nuns at her Catholic elementary school. Because there was another chubby Latina girl named Lisa, Carrizales assumed the sisters couldn't tell them apart. But years later, when she asked Lisa whether she was ever called Cristela, the answer was no. "My identity was literally erased," she tells the audience. 

But though Carrizales lost a highly coveted role in a communion ceremony to the other Lisa, she won recognition by earning badges as a Girl Scout and by performing in choir and theater during her school years and later in college.

When her life went off the rails after her marriage ended, she found solace on the stage again. In Oklahoma City, she honed her talents in cabaret and improv comedy. Her ability to dramatically shift her persona, raise her voice and suddenly burst into song drive the narrative of "Begin Again Badge." Throughout the show, Carrizales earns a series of badges as she reaches milestones in her life. 

In Oklahoma City, Carrizales crossed paths several times with Will Luera, the longtime head of Florida Studio Theatre Improv who is now artistic director of Sarasota's Lifeline Productions. "People in Sarasota may not realize it, but in the national improv world, Will Luera is famous," she says. "I booked him several times at OKC Improv." 

A nonprofit theater company, Lifeline was founded three years ago by Joel Ehrenpreis to shine a light on mental health. Its first production was "Clowns Like Me," a one-man show starring Joel's son, Scott Ehrenpreis, who has been diagnosed with OCD, bipolar disorder and autism spectrum disorder. 

Lifeline followed up "Clowns Like Me," which played Off Broadway in New York, with "Entangled," another one-man who that explored Luera's mental health issues through a humorous but heartfelt lens.

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When Carrizales pitched "Begin Again Badge" to Luera, he presented it to Ehrenpreis. "Joel and I brought Cristela’s show in because it felt like a strong fit for the kind of work we want to support at Lifeline: personal, honest and rooted in a clear point of view," Luera says. 

Adds Ehrenpreis: "The moment I met Cristela, I knew we had found our next piece — a raw, gut-punching and brilliantly humorous story of hope and healing. Between this powerful script and its innovative staging, this production takes our mission to a whole new level."

When it came time to drive from Oklahoma to Sarasota, Carrizales gave herself five days for the trip. "I stopped whenever I wanted to. I ate whatever I wanted to. Oh my God, the nature I saw. I realized is that I'm happier on a back road doing 65 miles an hour than I am on an interstate doing 95," she says. 

She asked a friend to create an inspirational playlist of 20 songs for her trip, which she saved for the last day. "When I arrived in Sarasota, I was centered, focused and peaceful. I really savored the solitude. It was the first time being alone felt good," Carrizales says. It was time to add the Solo Road Trip badge to her sash.