- July 29, 2026
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2:02 p.m., 1200 block of North Palm Avenue
Lewd and lascivious: This is the time of year when there seems to be an annual uptick of nudity in inappropriate locations. In this incident, a woman called 911 and remained present until Sarasota Police officers arrived regarding a man proudly, openly and persistently displaying his reproductive appendage. Upon arrival, an officer observed the subject sitting in a chair facing the woman with legs spread apart wearing a black T-shirt and, to some extent at least, gray athletic shorts.
“I’m the one who called and he’s the one,” the complainant proclaimed, according to the incident report.
After parties were separated for interviews, the complainant stated she was seated across from the subject when she observed his apparatus protruding from the side of his shorts. It wasn’t accidental, she determined, because he began to engage in self-gratification, continuing the activity for an extended period of time.
She said she relocated to another table when a friend arrived, after which he moved to a seat directly across from them. Cameras were located in the area, but footage was unavailable for retrieval at that time. The subject was cuffed and transported to Sarasota County Jail.
3 p.m., location redacted
Lewd and lascivious: Indecent exposure in a boarding house is just as illegal as in a public place, which a resident there discovered after officers responded to a call about a man moving about au natural in a hallway. A female resident said the naked housemate was walking toward her in a manner that suggested demonstration of his prowess. Two officers attempted to elicit an explanation from the man on his illicit behavior as he sat naked in a common area. The incident report stated his speech was slurred, he was unsteady and his eyes appeared red, indicating impairment.
Based on the woman’s statement, review of video evidence and other witness statements, it was determined probable cause existed to execute an arrest on charges of indecent exposure. The subject was transported to Sarasota County Jail.
2 a.m., 2000 block of Bay Street
Disturbance: A forlorn yet persistent ex-boyfriend incapable of accurately interpreting a hint told officers who responded to a place of business that he had been in an intimate relationship with an employee there and was upset the woman was cheating on him.
As it happens, the “cheating” occurred eight months after she broke off the relationship.
The man came to her workplace to confront her over his wayward infidelity allegation, but told officers the dispute was merely verbal in nature. He advised officers he was upset, but going forward he would avoid contact with the woman.
An interview with the woman revealed she broke up with him in November, but he had been “bothering” her lately, according to the incident report. She said she wants nothing to do with the subject, but he remains upset she is now seeing another man. She confirmed there was no physical contact during the dispute and both parties separated without further incident.
1 p.m., 2600 block of Bahia Vista Street
Dispute: A woman who was terminated from her job decided she wasn’t going to leave quietly. She made abusive statements over an office communication platform that included such eloquent proclamations — sans punctuation — as, "If I ever catch you out in the streets I'm a beat yo (euphemism for posterior) you got so much (euphemism for intimate activity) attitude you (euphemism for intimate activity) (euphemism for posterior) cracker;” and, "I'll lay my hands on you (euphemism for cat) (euphemism for female dog)!”
The complainant asked the incident be documented in the event the former employee makes good on any of her threats.
