- December 12, 2024
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At 60 years old, Annie Wilson was skeptical that she and the other Harbor58 mentors could get kids to return to the program each month.
The nonprofit offers resources to high school students who are in foster care and young adults who are aging out of the system through mentoring and monthly meetings.
“I was hard pressed to believe that (the kids) were going to want to be here because we are so not cool,” Wilson said. “But they don’t judge us and we don’t judge them.”
Wilson has been a mentor since March 2023. Most of the mentors are retirees like she is. In her view, the most important qualification is to be “all in.” Wilson has never missed a monthly meeting; and she plans her schedule around them.
“Those kids need to see me because so many people let them down,” she said. “The same people show up every month. Just by virtue of the fact that we’re there and we’re consistent, we make a huge difference.”
Missy Parmenter, president of Harbor58, explained that children coming out of foster care are dealing with childhood trauma and attachment issues, which lead to bad behavior.
The resulting behavior can then lead to new placements within the foster care system and sometimes even reversed adoptions.
“Those behaviors, we see them as inconveniences,” Parmenter said. “They’re actually a cry for intimacy and connection and help. We need to reframe the way we see hurting kids.”
The monthly meetings provide the kids with dinner, socialization and life skills. They’re held at Oasis Church, 5215 Lorraine Road, Lakewood Ranch, but volunteers will drive across counties to pick the kids up. Parmenter said they’ve driven as far south as North Port and as far north as Riverview.
Depending on the month, the two-hour meetings cover everything from finance to cybersecurity. There are also special months like November when they celebrate Friendsgiving.
Wilson said it isn’t a fancy dinner. They didn’t rent china, but it was a good meal and a good time. The mentors and mentees sat across from each other at a long table. Each was given paints and a canvas to draw a portrait of the other.
Wilson described one mentee’s painting as swirls of colors against a black background. The mentee said those were the feelings she saw.
“I got choked up,” Wilson said. “But in those moments, you have to hold it together.”
Wilson recalled talking to one student about Christmas while driving to a meeting. He said, “I hate Christmas. I never get anything.”
She was able to tell him that he will get a gift this year. In fact, 150 wish lists were circulated around Oasis Church a week ago and all but 10 were picked up over the course of one Sunday service.
Harbor58 calls the church home. However, the two are completely separate entities. Part of the nonprofit’s mission is to knock down any barriers that would prevent a child from participating, so Parmenter said there’s no obligation to attend church or even have faith.
However, the church is a major supporter of the nonprofit, which is growing rapidly. Parmenter likened it to building a raft as they’re already going down a river, but somehow, the pieces are falling into place.
Harbor58 is building a small community behind the church that will house 12 young adults, who have aged out of foster care, and one parent family. The church owns the property.
The complex will also include a community center for big dinners and services, such as counseling and life skills classes.
It’s a $4 million project, and Oasis Church is literally laying the groundwork.
“They agreed to do the land preparation for us,” Parmenter said. “Now, we’re just responsible from the ground up.”
Parmenter took her first stab at fundraising in April. The gala netted $90,000, so she has another one planned for next May, which will kick off Harbor58's first capital campaign.
Part of the nonprofit's quick success is due to volunteers. Right now, there are about 45, half of which are mentors, but Parmenter is looking for more to match the nonprofit’s growth.
Mentoring is not the only opportunity. She needs help with fundraising and gala planning, too.
In addition to the group meetings, mentors meet with their mentees one-on-one each month. In total, it’s about four hours a month.
Parmenter asks for a one year commitment because it ensures that the kids won’t face further feelings of abandonment, but also provides an “easy out” for the mentor or mentee if it's not working out.
Wilson and her mentee enjoy movie nights together. They’ve also gone shopping at Goodwill to buy her mentee a Halloween costume and a dress for Homecoming.
“I don’t know about Snapchat and that kind of stuff,” Wilson said. “But I have love and wisdom, and I’m stable.”