It brings a giggle to my lips and my mind when I see a young person post this as their Facebook status. Yet, relationships are complicated, aren’t they?
From my perspective, both personally and professionally, creating and keeping a healthy intimate relationship with your partner might be the most difficult relationship challenge ever. Let’s face it, we have been through a storm of changes lately, from COVID-19, to children being schooled at home, to us working from home, being socially distanced from friends and family and financial challenges to boot!
Stress wreaks havoc with us and if left untreated results in physical problems. When we are stressed our brain naturally responds using the flight or fight scenario. That works well if we are hunters and gathers and someone is chasing us. But this time it is just our spouse and they are not out to hurt us. They are just being them! Experiencing anxiety or concern about your relationship is normal but pretending like it is not there or that it will get better without some positive action is unrealistic. Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting it to be different?
Do not be afraid to address the anxiety and stress. You owe it to yourself and your relationship. Relationships do not improve on their own, really! Maybe you need a check up from the neck up, or at least from the heart up, to see what is going on and what you can do to bring about positive change. Ask your spouse to go to marriage counseling together or see a counselor alone if you prefer.
The reason I believe that stress causes physical ailments is that I know a little girl that was abused as a child. Her heart could not take what was happening to her. When she was a young adult, she was diagnosed with a type of cancer that was exceedingly rare. There is no history of this type of cancer in her family but there was history of abuse. Stress, trauma, and anxiety left untreated will result in bigger problems.
If your relationship needs a stress reducer, take it seriously. I am an advocate of healthy relationships and long-term marriages. Some people wait too long to get help, to talk about their feelings. Things can be said and done that make it hard to get past.
Divorce Mediation can help you end a broken marriage amicably. Marriage Mediation can help you look at your relationship honestly and determine whether it is important enough to continue to work together to preserve what you started. Zollinger Mediation is here with open arms to help you take your first steps.