APRIL FOOL: Longboater mixes drinks, distinct cultures at his soon-to-open bar

With his Longboat Key bar about a week from opening, Stephen McGarrett aims to take the fusion craze about as far across the globe as he can. As in 10 time zones, from a tropical paradise all the way to the Emerald Isle.

McGarrett, a born-and-bred Scotsman who began vacationing on Longboat Key 20 years ago and moved here permanently last summer, is ready to open Hawaii O’ Five, a mashup of a Polynesian Tiki bar and an authentic Irish pub.

“We Scots love a wee dram of scotch, but when it comes to everything else, well, let’s just say there are better alternatives to highlands food,’’ he said when asked why his menu isn’t based on something closer to home. “I love my heritage, but I want people to come, r-r-r-right? I mean, Ireland is green. Hawaii is green. Makes perfect sense if you ask me, laddie.’’

McGarrett said he grew to appreciate Americans’ take on the Tiki bar during vacations here over the years, marveling at their light-hearted approach to cultural authenticity. He said he also appreciates an Irish pub, which can be as much fun “just with a lot more clothes.’’

Once established as a Longboat resident, he found a suitable spot on the island’s north end, adding that residents are welcome to consider his establishment a community center until something better comes along. “Thank the lord we could do this, but I'd better not catch anyone playing mahjong," he said.

Among the drink specials McGarrett and his daughter, Elspeth, have come up with for opening day, April 1:

• The Book ‘em Danno Boy: With five different liquors and a red lemonade mixer, McGarrett said this drink is his most potent. It’s served with a $30 Uber gift card to ensure patrons get home safely.
• The Dublin Down: A tall, iced glass of guava juice with a round of Irish-made gin dropped straight to the bottom, shot-glass and all.
• Diamond Head Brown Ale: Served warm, “just like Maui,’’ this malty yet tropical fruit-infused brew is reminiscent of the Irish staple. Somehow.
• The Don Ho: Classic Irish tea, with just enough sparkling white wine to create tiny bubbles.
• Jameson and pineapple juice: Naturally.
• The Cliffs of Mohr-aki: A rum-based drink that will have patrons “looking over the edge.’’ It’s bound to be a hit with tourists, McGarrett said.

As a special guest from County Cork, all-star Gaelic footballer Frank O’Harris is expected to attend the opening. He’ll sign autographs after first explaining who he is. And who he just sounds like but really isn’t.

“He's Irish through and through and a tough old bird, but don’t you worry,’’ McGarrett said. “We’ll buy him a Hawaiian shirt before we open.’’

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