Tourism bureau rebrands as Don’t Visit Sarasota County

APRIL FOOLS’ — The days of Siesta Key Public Beach landing on top 10 lists is over. At least, if Virginia Haley has anything to say about it.

During a budget workshop Wednesday, Sarasota County commissioners voted to rebrand the local convention and visitors bureau with a new name and mission: Slow down local tourism. Don’t Visit Sarasota County, which Haley will lead as president, will operate with a $6 million budget and 15 employees.

“And you should know that nobody builds a wall like me. It would be a great wall.” — Commissioner Paul Caragiulo

The vote came after commissioners and residents expressed dire concerns about the impact of tourism on the character of the community.

“This is getting ridiculous,” said Commissioner Paul Caragiulo before making the motion to establish the new direction for the regional marketing agency. “My 10-minute commute has become a 14-minute commute.”

Commissioners hope the initiative will reduce traffic on local roads and decrease crowds at popular locations, such as Siesta beach. Downtown resident and prominent neighborhood activist Nim B. Yard told reporters after the meeting he hoped the move would also discourage new development.

“We could do this or build a wall,” said Caragiulo, who represents downtown Sarasota and Lido Key. “And you should know that nobody builds a wall like me. It would be a great wall.”

Haley, who as president of Visit Sarasota County helped turn the area into a tourism juggernaut on par with Daytona Beach and Miami, said the organization was already in the process of rebranding. She praised the commission for using a more nuanced approach toward easing traffic woes.

“The timing couldn’t have been better,” Haley said.

Don’t Visit Sarasota County staff first plan to reach out to BuzzFeed and other news sources to suggest future listicles for Sarasota, such as:

• Top destinations for drivers who prefer life in the slow lane (no matter the speed limit)
• 50 places to travel if you want to experience Zika virus
• Where sea turtles attack
• Communities where you are most at risk of being knocked out by a golf ball

In the biggest new strategy, the organization has designed a billboard outlining the county’s hazards that will be placed along main corridors of Tamiami Trail and Interstate 75. The colorful advertisement features a shark, and alligator, scary clowns and monstrous mosquitos.

“This should definitely give potential tourists a scare,” Haley said.

Hopefully you made it to the end of the article, so we can say, Happy April Fools' Day! This story is not true.