APRIL FOOLS: Traffic circle training school coming soon

APRIL FOOLS -- A plan to help Longboat Key residents gear up for an ever-increasing number of roundabouts, circles, rotaries and other traffic-calming road features is taking shape this spring with a combination of local philanthropy and a little Euro-flair.

Longboat Key leaders have fought for months, apparently in vain, against a proposed series of traffic circles along U.S. 41 on the Sarasota bayfront. Armed with data from a private traffic consultant, officials have argued a proposed circle at Gulfstream Avenue and U.S. 41 would be no better – and possibly worse – than the existing three-turn lane arrangement there now.

Town Commissioners have worried publicly about the ability of Longboat Key’s aging residents and their giant cars to negotiate the circles, even suggesting “an engraved invitation” might be needed to urge some of the island’s more timid motorists to venture into the 360-degree world of 21st century driving.  That could lead to deeper traffic tie-ups and more time-consuming drives to and from the island, officials said.

Enter part-time resident Enzo Cappucino, the son of a 1950s Italian Grand Prix racer and his country’s pre-eminent urban driving instructor.

He said what he's seen of American driving shocks him. And he's driven in Rome.

“If you ever visit Venice in the summer, you know how hard this is for me to say, but the Americans, ah, they are too polite,’’ Cappucino said. “Sometimes, ah, no, that’s not the right word . . .  all the time, yes, all the time, that’s it, you must just go, go go.’’

With $1.2 million of his own money, “because I like the Longboat Key,’’ Cappucino is seeking the town’s permission to build a temporary practice traffic circle on the now-vacant former home of the Colony Beach & Tennis Resort.

"It's not like grass is growing there or anything,'' he said.

He’s also volunteered his Guida Come un Italiano (Drive Like an Italian) school instructors to teach a series of classes in basic traffic circle navigation, entering and exiting without brakes and “digital communication,” which Cappucino says is an international language understood worldwide.

“We Italians speak with our hands, but I guess you Americans like to use this,’’ he said, holding up his middle finger. “We say the same thing. You can’t drive without, how you say, fortissimo.’’

He also said Americans spend too much time worrying about what's in the rearview mirror. None of his cars are so equipped. “What’s behind you doesn’t matter,” he said.

If approved, construction of the training traffic circle could get underway by late summer. It’s not expected to interfere with a plan to build a pre-construction sales office for the St. Regis Hotel and Residences, which was approved this year.

In fact, it could ultimately serve as an elegant driveway to the $2 million temporary structure.

Longboat Key drivers waiting to turn left onto Gulf of Mexico Drive from Country Club Shores last week said they would look forward to Cappucino’s lessons.

“I haven’t left Longboat since Thanksgiving because of that infernal St. Armands Circle,’’ said Moe Torist, who was seventh in line at the stop sign in his idling Buick Park Avenue. “I’d be happy to learn more about driving. Can I get there without turning left?”