Manasota BUDS creates lifelong friendships

Mill Creek’s Jim Baar said he doesn’t know what life would be like had he and his wife Mary Jo not met Riverwalk’s Bill and Stacy Quaid.

The couples each had a daughter in a Sunday school class at Living Lord Lutheran Church in Lakewood Ranch. Their daughters, Amanda Baar and Mary Quaid, are now both 30 years old. 

“I didn’t know them well,” Stacy Quaid said of the Baars. “We would pass in the hall and say ‘hi.’ It was like the way you might know a neighbor on your block.”

On May 21, 2001, Quaid gave birth to her second daughter, Ella Quaid, who was born with Down syndrome. Stacy Quaid was in her early 30s, so a screening test had not been recommended because she didn’t fall into the category of “advanced maternal age.” 

The pastor at Living Lord approached Quaid to tell her, “You’re not going to believe this, but you’re the second family in a month that has had a child with Down syndrome, and they didn’t know they were expecting a child with Down syndrome either.”

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Joey Baar was born 10 days before Ella Quaid. Jim Baar remembers everyone telling him, “I’m sorry.” 

He said things have changed since, but that was a time when people didn't know much about Down syndrome. When going out to a restaurant, Baar said people would stare at his son. Whereas now, they smile at him.

The Baars and the Quaids have helped to make positive strides locally by forming Manasota BUDS (Bringing Up Down Syndrome), a nonprofit organization that serves children with Down syndrome and their families. 

The support group that started with two families now serves over 250 families across Manatee and Sarasota counties. 

Stacy Quaid remembered all those well-intended "sorries," too, so the first thing the group did was produce “New Parent Kits.” The kits are both informational and congratulatory. 

Stacy Quaid said it wasn’t “an easy lift” to get the kits into the area’s hospitals. The hospitals were leery of handing out information, but the materials were vetted and the kits are still being distributed today.

“(New parents) know we’re here when they need us,” Stacy Quaid said, “That, in itself, is a comfort.”

There’s also a Manasota BUDS Facebook page where parents can ask questions. 

But the Baars and the Quaids were raising children with Down syndrome before Facebook launched in 2006.

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“We have a connection (to the Baars) that’s made a huge difference in our lives,” Stacy Quaid said. “I can always call them. I can text Mary Jo (Baar) and just say, ‘I’m confused, upset or stuck. What should I do?’ And she’s always there with a heartfelt, honest answer that is in my best interest and Ella’s best interest.”

She called the friendship “priceless.” And now, Manasota BUDS offers that comfort and camaraderie to hundreds of families. 

The group offers programming to individuals with Down syndrome of all ages and their parents. 

Members are invited to attend large family days and smaller playdates by age group. BUDS awards scholarships for camps to children and scholarships to state and national Down syndrome conferences to parents. 

The Buddy Up program offers tennis and fitness classes for teenagers, and Cool BUDS offers social activities like bowling and dances for adults. 

The annual Manasota BUDS Buddy Walk, which will be held on Oct. 25 at Bayside Community Church in Lakewood Ranch, is the nonprofit’s major funding source. Each Buddy Walk pays for the following year’s programs. 

The event attracts over 500 people each year. This year’s pre and post walk parties will include a DJ, dunk tank, games and refreshments.