Cranky wins acting award

APRIL FOOLS — Lakewood Ranch developer Schroeder-Manatee Ranch has yet another reason to flap its tailfeathers.

The National Mascot Lovers Association recognized its mascot, Cranky, for his talents as “Best Actor” at its April 1 annual awards ceremony.

But was Cranky, a sandhill crane, just acting?

Witnesses saw Cranky partying late into the night on the Lakewood Ranch bar scene, downing Grey Goose and Wild Turkey. At the end of the night, he tried to bust a move for a group of females with his mating dance. Let’s just say, he went home to an empty nest.

The next day, Cranky showed up to the awards ceremony late with his feathers disheveled. Sitting in the corner, wings crossed, he refused to perform or interact with other mascots.

“That bird’s gonna win an Oscar,” one judge said. “For a second, I really thought he was Cranky. He could be the next Big Bird or Donald Duck.”

Another judge praised his acting skills but wondered what having a cranky mascot says about the Ranch.

 “Does that mean the community of Lakewood Ranch is cranky, too?” the judge wrote.

Hopefully you made it to the end of the article, so we can say, Happy April Fools' Day! This story is not true.