Breakfast of champions
1:34 a.m. — 1800 block of South Tamiami Trail. Trespassing. The night clerk at a gas station reported a young man walked into the store, grabbed two bear-claw pastries and ran out of the store. The clerk chased him outside and found the bear claws near a garbage dumpster. The thief was stopped several blocks away and issued a trespass warning.
How do you spell relief?
1:25 p.m. — 1000 block of Central Avenue. Public Urination. A police officer saw a man relieving himself against a building, just two feet from a sidewalk busy with passing pedestrians.
Game, set, snatch
7 p.m. — 2600 block of Waldemere Street. Theft. A couple was playing tennis at a park. When they returned to their car, they saw that the purse and wallet they left inside were gone. The total value of the lost belongings was $530.
4:30 p.m. — 8300 block of South Tamiami Trail. Battery. The manager of a fast-food restaurant called the Sheriff’s Office after one of her employees grabbed another employee by the throat and pushed him against a wall. The two were working, when the attacker told the victim that he was hearing voices. The victim then began whispering in the other worker’s ear. This irritated the suspect, and he attacked the victim.
Friends in low places
11:34 p.m. — 4400 block of South Tamiami Trail. Battery. The DJ at a karaoke bar had been warning two men to stop causing a disturbance or they’d have to leave. After the third warning, one of the men began yelling back. The second man grabbed the DJ from behind, and the first man punched him in the face. A woman tried to intervene, and one of the men put her in a headlock and punched her. The men fled in an SUV, and the victims got the license-plate number, which was provided to the Sheriff’s Office.
Baby, you can drive my car
1:31 a.m. — 1800 block of South Tamiami Trail. Battery. A woman, who said she’s been traveling the state undercover to make a movie about people with chemical imbalances, came into contact with one such person. She invited him to live in her car with her. He stayed with her for three days. On the above date, he tried to refuel her car but accidentally put diesel fuel in it, which caused it to break down. The two got into an argument, and she complained about his poor hygiene. She claimed he then tried to choke her. Police interviewed a witness, who was also staying in the car. That person said she saw no such attack.
3:44 p.m. — 1300 block of First Street. Suspicious Incident. Complainant called the police department, because he discovered several trash bags full of a transient’s clothing and belongings and wanted it removed.
Googling too late
1:49 p.m. — 1700 block of Fruitville Road. Grand Theft and Fraud. The owner of an answering service received a fax from another answering service, which said it was going out of business and was offering its client list for $8,000. The owner thought it sounded like a good way to increase his business. He offered the owner of the other business $5,000, which was to be paid $3,000 up front and $2,000 at the close of the deal. The money was paid, but no client list arrived. The owner Googled the name of the out-of-business company and discovered that it did not exist, but it has been associated with similar scams in the past.