'Coffee with a Cop' stories not all sugar-coated

You can shake hands with Bob Mealy, a captain and District 3 commander for the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, and never notice the scar on the bottom side of his wrist.

Obviously, he knows it is there. He also knows the exact date he got it. Monday, April 14, 2014.

It was that day Mealy, responding to the report of an armed bank robbery, chased a white pickup until it came to a halt, due to shredded tires, on the 5100 block of 33rd Street East in Bradenton.

Mealy sat in his patrol car, keeping his distance from the suspect's vehicle. He kept his eyes locked on the driver's side mirror.

In the pickup, 24-year-old Ross Chrisman sat behind the wheel, his hands clutching something to his chest. Mealy was correct in thinking it was a gun.

In a heartbeat, Chrisman spun, and started firing, a bullet piercing Mealy's windshield and hitting him in the wrist.

Officers returned gunfire, and a later report found Chrisman shot himself during the gun battle and died.

Mealy, meanwhile, was fine. "I was wearing my vest," he said.

Of course, he also knows he was fortunate the shot didn't strike him elsewhere. Just part of the job.

On National Coffee with a Cop Day, Oct. 7, Mealy sat at Popi's Place on the Ranch and tried to explain how a law enforcement officer tries to mix a compassionate, caring nature with the ability to spring to action if a threat presents itself.

"The phenomenon is called hypervigilance," Mealy said. "There is a lot more non-excitement in this job."

If you look it up the Wiki definition,  hypervigilance is the "perpetual scanning of the environment to search for sights, sounds, people, behaviors, smells, or anything else that is reminiscent of threat or trauma."

It is safe to say I have a hard time understanding how a law enforcement official can approach a car in today's world and act "compassionate and caring" when they never are sure what awaits them. I have never wanted such a job. Thank goodness someone does.

Those officers, male and female, must navigate a world full of distrust, especially with so many recent, high-profile, police-related shootings

Mealy understands, and is quick to say, "There are bad cops out there."

However, having donned the uniform 21 years ago, and now 54, Mealy still operates with the firm conviction that most people understand law enforcement officials are the good guys.

"I believe the silent majority respects and supports law enforcement," said Mealy, who by the way, doesn't drink coffee.

Law enforcement agencies across the country hope Mealy is right, and for a little insurance, National Coffee with a Cop Day is growing. It started in 2011 in Hawthorne, Calif., and since has been hosted in some form of law enforcement in all 50 states. The stated purpose is to build trust and relationships between law enforcement officers and the public in a casual atmosphere.

This was the first time the Manatee County Sheriff's Office has participated. Besides Popi's, the Sheriff's Office had representatives at Mixon's Groveside Café and Mocha Joe's Café in Bradenton.

"I really believe for most of us, this is a calling," Mealy said. "Most of us want to help people. We want to make it more safe for people."

Mealy was sitting East County's Mike Lowe and Bob Dallesandro, a senior from Tara. 

"I couldn't name a person who would have anything negative to say about (local) law enforcement," said Lowe, a 29-year-old who came to the event to get information about possible employment in the future.

Dallesandro was attending the event just to show his support.

They discussed all kinds of topics, most on the lighter side, such as caring for police dogs. Mealy said he didn't hear a negative word all morning.

Mealy did said the county is suffering from a heroin epidemic and that vehicular burglaries are a "thorn in my side."

Before long, and all too soon, it was time for Mealy to get back to work. Perhaps you might check out the next one.

Mealy hopes the event becomes quarterly, and it gives the Sheriff's Office a chance to visit with those who are both supportive and those who have had problems with local law enforcement. It would be a chance to have a conversation and an non-intimidating environment. It could be a chance to mend fences.

Just remember the other side of Mealy's wrist when you shake hands,