Freya's Personal Reflections About Mediation

Interestingly enough, in today’s google accessible world, mediation is still relatively novel and little known to the general population. So I often find that people have questions about what I do and why I do it.

Mediation is an effective alternative to dispute resolution. It is being used today in many areas, such as business, small claims court, foreclosure, family mediation, eldercare mediation, and the list goes on. It provides a path for people to resolve legal issues without traditional legal representation, which can be very rewarding for all involved.

Why did I enter the field of mediation?

Faced with a marriage that could not be reconciled, my situation ended up in a litigated setting with my spouse and I spending over $100,000 for a dissolution of a marriage that had minimal assets. I was devastated from the divorce, but as much from the horrible process of divorce than being divorced from my husband, if that makes sense. It felt as though the divorce became my whole life, a second job, our entire family was hit like a tornado and the cleanup was left to us while the professionals moved on without a care.

As a part of the healing process I went to therapy. My counselor suggested that I might do well as a mediator. I thought about it and I decided to recreate myself. I obtained my mediation certification and my certification as a CDFA, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and started my business helping others in a way that I was not able to be helped.

What do you enjoy most about family mediation?

Helping couples and families avoid a catastrophe brings me joy. Guiding couples to be the best they can be as parents while separating in a kind and respectful way is to me what it is all about. There is no reason to tear each other apart. The process you use for your divorce will affect your children for the rest of their lives. The work I do is all about helping people. I really enjoy being able to resolve people’s conflict.

What are the best possible outcomes of mediation?

Fair and equitable always comes to my mind as what everyone wants, and that is obtainable in mediation. Children having free and loving access to all family members and friends they had before the divorce. Parents sharing in birthdays, extracurricular activities and any event for their children. Yes, that means sitting together at their events too! Individuals having enough money after the divorce to continue to live without struggling. What are some of my favorite mediation moments? Laughing and crying with clients. That might sound sappy, but we are dealing with people’s lives here and everyone matters. People need to be heard, listened to and responded to in a way that they feel they matter. Helping clients see the light come on, either by realizing that there will be life after divorce or maybe that they create a new career, or that they decided to be the best co-parents they can be for their kids, or maybe they create a new and different relationship with their spouse. Helping the spouse that didn’t handle the financials understand what that looks like and how they will handle money in the future. Having discussions with couples about their children who are struggling, not only from the divorce, but perhaps because they have some challenges that need to be addressed. Couples can be very focused on themselves during the divorce process, which is natural, and sometimes we can miss the desperate needs of a child.

I hope that helps shed some light on my life as a mediator. If you think I may be of assistance in a legal matter, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

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