Is your relationship a source of strength for you? Or is it a drain? Couples who mesh well, intuitively understand each other and naturally desire to meet each other’s needs. One is up when the other is down, but rarely are they both down at the same time. No marriage is perfect though.
Marriage is the merger of two imperfect people, so do not think yours should come without its challenges. We all come from some dysfunction. As John Bradshaw, self-help evangelist from the 1900’s, says it just depends on what degree of dysfunction we come from.
Many times, we see people who have identified a need for divorce because of their own mental health and wellness. They have determined that their relationship, their life as it stands, is unhealthy, toxic, and unsustainable. If you both agree on this assessment of your relationship and there is nothing that can be done to turn it around, the next question is, “Why do you want to add more stress and toxicity to the situation by starting up an adversarial legal fight?”
Wouldn’t it be great if there were a way to wipe the slate clean calmly and amicably and give yourself a fresh start? Did you know that you can accomplish this through the mediation process? You can! We have helped hundreds of couples just like yourselves maneuver peacefully and honestly through the process of separation and divorce without it getting ugly. You are two people who started out loving each other and maybe even had children together, right? Surely there is enough care and concern to not tear each other up.
Furthermore, if you have children (regardless of their age), do you want your emotions and frustration to spill over onto your children? Do not fool yourself. Your children know what is going on. Some couples say the children do not know yet, because we have not told them. They know by your lack of affection; they do not need to see you fight. But if you are fighting that surely is not meant for a child to experience.
If you are feeling lost and uncertain about the future, give me a call and we will answer your questions. We can talk about your next steps. I have been where you are and know the apprehension you are feeling. Mediation can help you move forward in a fair and nonaggressive manner.
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