Observe This: Today's Top Stories (for all you April fools)

City to convert police headquarters into homeless shelter

→  APRIL FOOLS — Plans are in the works to turn the Sarasota Police Department into a state-of-the-art homeless shelter.

A scratchy blanket and stiff pillow might have worked for Sarasota’s down-and-out population in the past, but city officials say they want the homeless to be able to live comfortably.

With the Sarasota Police Department being axed and the Sarasota Sheriff’s Office taking over policing efforts throughout the city, there are many options for the two-year-old, two-story police headquarters with its floor-to-ceiling windows and view of Payne Park. The city plans to contribute $28 million to revamp the building into a city-funded, state-of-the-art modernized homeless shelter. Construction could start as early as January.

The ground floor of the shelter will house ... [click here to read on!]

Legoman Land lands on Siesta

→  APRIL FOOLS — Sarasota County officials approved construction of a new Legoman Land theme park on Siesta Key Beach, due to the success of LEGOLAND Theme Park, in Winter Haven.

Ever since the 8-foot-tall piece of artwork called Legoman mysteriously washed ashore in October on Siesta Key Beach, people can’t seem to get enough of the smiling yellow fellow.

His grand entrance caused quite a stir, drawing national attention, including a spot on Time magazine’s Top 10 Oddball-News Stories of 2011. After making guest appearances all over town, he’ll finally have a permanent home on Siesta Key Beach.

City officials recently approved an offer from LEGOLAND to begin ... [click here to read on!]

Company shows naked ambition

→  APRIL FOOLS — The operators of three Florida nudist resorts has made a serious offer to settle the Colony dispute.

The Colony Beach & Tennis Resort’s white knight may have arrived — only he is not exactly dressed in white. He may not be dressed at all.

The operators of three successful nudist colonies in Pasco County have submitted a proposal to the Colony Beach & Tennis Association Board of Directors and Colony owner Dr. Murray “Murf” Klauber, and apparently it is getting serious consideration.

With Klauber and the association board ... [click here to read on!]

Parking meters come to Ranch

→  APRIL FOOLS — After the Sarasota City Commission voted in March to shut down its $510,000 parking-meter program, Schroeder-Manatee Ranch Inc. purchased all 459 meters to install in Lakewood Ranch.

Parking meters are coming to Lakewood Ranch.

Schroeder-Manatee Ranch President and CEO Rex Jensen last week negotiated with the city of Sarasota to purchase all the assets from its failed downtown parking-meter program.

The meters will be removed from Sarasota curbs this week and placed throughout Lakewood Ranch in the next two months, Jensen said.

Sarasota paid $510,000 for the 459 meters; SMR purchased them for $300,000.

“It was a bargain,” Jensen said. ... [click here to read on!]