News Briefs

APRIL FOOLS —

+ iPads shuffle off County Commission table
In its ongoing quest to cut its budget, the county will get rid of its recently purchased iPads for commissioners and replace them with a less-expensive alternative.

The iPads were acquired for commissioners to view voluminous paperwork for commission meetings, instead of printing all of those documents.

But the county will now be getting iPod Shuffles, which are about $750 cheaper.
There will be some challenges, however, with the new product. The Shuffle is audio-only — it has no viewing screen.

But the county has retained the services of James Earl Jones to provide audio versions of the meeting documents.

A trickier problem, though, is that the Shuffle does not play its audio files in order. So, commissioners will not be able to follow along with the meeting agenda.

+ CLUCK gets some company down on the farm
Now that urban chicken keeping is legal in Sarasota, advocates for other farm animals are lobbying the city.
Three new groups noticed how Citizens Lobbying for Urban Chicken Keeping, or CLUCK, was able to change city code to allow homeowners to keep backyard chickens.
They want to also legalize the keeping of cows, pigs and roosters within the city limits.
The groups’ names are MOO, Milk-producers Overworked and Overburdened; OINK, the Other white meat Is Now Known; and COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO, Council of Crowers who Know to Alert Daily in an Orderly and Organized Dialogue that Lends Energy to Daylight’s Omnipresent Overture.

+ Pizza shop’s truck to draw ire of Siesta Key residents
If some Siesta Key residents were bothered by the Solorzano Bros. Pizzeria van, they’re going to be angry about a new pizza shop’s advertising plan.

Solorzano’s upset condo owners, because it parked its marked van in the on-street parking spots in front of Siesta Key Beach.

A new pizza shop on the Key, Camion Grande, has purchased a tractor-trailer and painted its logo on it. The new shop’s owners plan to park the huge truck in the same place where Solorzano’s used to park, but it will take up about 10 parking spaces.

Meetings & agendas
+ Economic Discouragement Committee — 4 a.m. Friday, April 1, Vacant lot at 1000 Elm St., Sarasota
+ Citizens Who are Fowl Friendly — 6:30 a.m. Friday, April 1, Under the fourth tree from the right at 200 Bird Key Drive, Sarasota
+ Subcommittee for People Who Can’t Take a Joke — 9 p.m. Friday, April 1, Brownish building at 2112 Main St., Sarasota
+ United Order of Nihilists — 11:59 p.m. Friday, April 1, What’s the use of providing an address?