Please ensure Javascript is enabled for purposes of website accessibility

City Commission OKs obscure sports stadium


  • By
  • | 4:00 a.m. April 3, 2014
Courtesy rendering Construction on the proposed Eccentric Sports Promotion Network complex hinges on multiple environmental impact studies, which could take up to a year to complete.
Courtesy rendering Construction on the proposed Eccentric Sports Promotion Network complex hinges on multiple environmental impact studies, which could take up to a year to complete.
  • Sarasota
  • News
  • Share

Some of the world’s least-popular sports will soon call Sarasota home.

The city of Sarasota unanimously approved a measure April 1, to scrap plans for the Van Wezel Cultural Park in favor of a 55,000-seat athletic stadium on the site, which will be dedicated to what the city commissioners called “obscure and artistic sports.”

The Eccentric Sports Promotion Network complex, which will broadcast events live on ESPN 8 (the “ocho”), is meant to be a direct competitor to the county’s rowing complex in Nathan Benderson Park.

“There’s nothing more beautiful than rhythmic gymnastics, ribbon dancing or a well-played game of dodgeball,” one city commissioner said, explaining Tuesday’s move, which caught many by surprise. “We want to bring those sports to Sarasota.”

A representative of the World Dodgeball Association expressed excitement.

“We’ll finally have somewhere to play,” he said. “Now we won’t have to rent out high school gyms anymore.”

One advantage for building a venue for such obscure sports, one commissioner explained, is that area planners won’t have to worry about traffic or parking.

“I mean, hey, that’s the upside, right?” one commissioner explained. “If no one actually comes to the events, we don’t have to worry about traffic or any of that. But the stadium is going to look really, really cool.”

Commissioners also brushed off concerns about the utility of building a $130 million, 55,000-seat stadium, which would likely not generate any revenue through ticket sales, on a key piece of waterfront real estate.

“Listen, this isn’t about money, it’s about the vibe,” one city official explained. “People may not think they have any desire to watch these sports, but just wait, just wait — this is going to be the next big thing; it’s going to be huge.”

Others were less optimistic. One downtown business owner called the decision confusing.

“Is this a joke?” the business owner replied, after being informed of the city’s plans. “Seriously, you’re joking, right?”

One downtown resident expressed concerns about the reputation of dodgeball fans for hooliganism.

“The last thing we want are a bunch of those dodgeballers roaming around town,” the resident said. “We all know what they’re like, I’ve seen the movie. Is that the sort of crowd we want to attract downtown?”

Asked about the reputation of ribbon-dancing fans, the same resident said, “Oh yeah, they’re the worst.”

Although city commissioners would not estimate the start date for the project, they said it would have to wait for multiple environmental impact studies, and the site would have to be cleared of equipment staged there for a nearby deep-injection well construction project.

“We could get this done in a year or so, but it’s probably best to draw out the whole process to about a decade,” one city commissioner explained. “You can never be too cautious.”

County commissioners seemed unconcerned by the prospect of the new stadium potentially diverting resources and tourist interest away from the rowing facility at Benderson Park.

“We’re pretty confident this will have absolutely no impact whatsoever on the number of people who visit the rowing facility,” a county commissioner said.

Contact Nolan Peterson at [email protected]

 Hopefully you made it to the end of the article, so we can say, Happy April Fools' Day! This story is not true.

 

Latest News