Circle puts new spin on traffic

St. Armands Circle is heading in a new direction.

The high-end shopping destination — a major draw for international tourists — received approval at the April 1 Sarasota City Planning Board meeting to change the direction of traffic, making vehicles flow through the roundabout in a clockwise direction. Drivers coming from Sarasota will enter St. Armands from the left, not the right, while drivers interested in going to the beach will be directed to go straight through the Circle.

The change will help European visitors feel more at home as they shop for luxury items and will also provide traffic calming by forcing drivers to slow down to accommodate the changes. It will also help businesses on the east side of the shopping district to gain valuable exposure.

The need for a change in direction and, thus, slower speed, became apparent when a city consultant revealed the following findings:

• Four out of five drivers were forced to drive with their knees while traversing the Circle to take selfies while they drove;

• Drivers often have difficulty contributing to solicitors around the Circle because they cannot slow down to hand over money to worthy causes such as helping children;

• More than 60% of St. Armands drivers erroneously believe the word “yield” means “apply hard breaks;”

• Circle drivers like to reminisce about the pre-Ringling Bridge days by sitting in traffic.

Throughout the roundabout there will be checkpoints for drivers to make pedestrian traffic safer (see map). The outer lane of the Circle will be open to vehicle traffic. The inner lane will be reserved for segways operators, rollerbladers, skateboarders and bicyclists.

Sarasota police supported changing the traffic flow on the Circle, citing the need to generate the revenue it lost from parking tickets when it loosened restrictions last year.

Mounted patrols will be placed at each entry to the Circle to help educate drivers about new rules by writing them tickets.

Hopefully you made it to the end of the article, so we can say, Happy April Fools' Day! This story is not true.