April 24
Wallet used as fish chum
2:53 p.m. — 4500 block of GMD. Lost Property. A man reported that he was concentrating so much on catching a fish that he lost his wallet over the bow of the ship. The good news is the odds of a fish stealing his identity are slim to none.

May 4
Last place I looked
2:45 p.m. — 4700 block of GMD. Public Service. Police responded to a hotel regarding a report of missing sunglasses, only to be told by the vacationer that he had found the glasses … when they fell from the top of his head.

June 17
Keep your eyes on the road
1:09 p.m. — 5700 block of GMD. Reckless Driving. A woman told police that she thought a car was swerving because the couple “was fooling around.” The driver at first attributed the erratic driving to his foot getting stuck in the pedals. But he later confirmed what the woman suggested. The frisky couple were sent on their way.

July 9
Golden throne
7:26 a.m. — 6900 block of GMD. Suspicious Circumstance. Police observed a gold toilet that was sitting on the roof of the former Longbeach Chevron building. The toilet had a face drawn on it in black paint. The owner of the property had the commode removed later that morning.

Aug. 13
Party’s over
12:22 a.m. — 400 block of GMD. Warrants. Police noticed a woman walking down the bicycle lane and asked if she needed assistance. The woman told police she had “partied” with a stranger earlier and he would not give her a ride back to Sarasota. She asked police for a ride home, but was given a ride to the jail, instead, when a warrant check revealed she had violated her probation and had an extensive criminal history.

Sept. 4
Houdini gets out of handcuffs
11:45 p.m. — 1000 block of GMD. Driving Under the Influence. A woman was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol and prescription medication and resisting arrest. The woman, who admitted to being drunk, somehow managed to remove her handcuffs in the patrol car and had to be re-handcuffed. The woman wondered why she could not just pay a fine for her behavior.

Sept. 8
Pink flamingo snatcher loose
1:09 p.m. — 500 block of Cutter Lane. Larceny. A man called to report that someone stole two pink flamingos out of the north side of his yard.

Sept. 9
Thief proposes repayment plan
11:12 a.m. — 3600 block of GMD. Fraud. A woman reported that a man she had been living with for two years used her online banking password and stole $44,600 from her bank account over the course of 18 months. When she confronted him, he offered to pay her back “at the rate of $500 per month, which would take 7.43 years to repay in full.” She responded to his debt-repayment plan by throwing him out of her condo and hiring a lawyer.

Sept. 20
Road construction hater
2:21 a.m. — Off the Key. Assist Other Agency. Police observed a drunken man kicking traffic cones, shaking road signs and pulling reflective markers out of the pavement in Bradenton Beach.

Oct. 11
A relative issue
7:58 a.m. — 6300 block of Gulfside Road. Suspicious Circumstance. A woman called to report people moving things out of her neighbor’s home while the neighbor was out of town. Police questioned the movers, who explained they were family members who were helping the homeowner move.

Oct. 19
Remains of the day
12:28 p.m. — 600 block of Longboat Club Road. Suspicious Circumstance. A man reported that he found several suspicious bones on the beach. Police determined that the bones were from a pig skeleton, which are used for bait in crab traps.