You can’t miss him
8:04 p.m. — 700 block of Bayport Way. Suspicious Circumstance. A 5-foot, 4-inch, dark-skinned, black-haired man wearing a DayGlo orange thong who spoke with an accent sat next to a woman on the beach and asked her to take several pictures of him. She felt uncomfortable and asked another beachgoer to walk her home.
I’m no dope
10:31 p.m. — 6300 block of Gulfside Road. Suspicious Circumstance. A man said a couple started banging and kicking on the front door. After police found the pair, the man said they stopped at the home because his girlfriend wanted to visit her friend. After police spoke to the couple for a few minutes, a woman walked outside and said, “I wasn’t buying any dope.”
3:22 p.m. — 1600 block of GMD. Battery. A Ringling student said his professor grabbed him by the arm a few weeks ago while shooting a film at the Colony Beach & Tennis Resort after he didn’t return from the grocery store with groceries. He filed a complaint with the school and called police because he wants to file charges against his professor.
11:41 p.m. — 100 block of GMD. Traffic Violation. Police observed a man parked on the sidewalk with the engine running. When police asked for his driver’s license, the man looked disoriented and was obviously sweating. After being monitored by firefighter/paramedics and noting that he drank cooking sherry by mistake, he took a cab home.
Brush up those lyrics
4:58 p.m. — 3400 block of GMD. Suspicious Person. A man pulled his family’s car next to another vehicle to park at a beach access and saw a man inside brushing his teeth; the man then became verbally aggressive. The man who matched the description said he hadn’t spoken to anyone but possibly someone heard him singing a song and didn’t like the lyrics.
You can’t stand under my umbrella-ella-ella
2:03 p.m. — 3200 block of GMD. Civil Disturbance. A woman was lying out on the beach under her umbrella and went back inside her condo for a half-hour but returned to find her umbrella missing. She then found a man and woman lying under her umbrella to the south of where she had left it. The man said he had just borrowed it and offered her $5 for it. Police told the man and woman they were on private property and suggested they move to the public beach approximately 500 feet away.
1:10 p.m. — 2000 block of GMD. Domestic Violence. During a cab ride back to their vacation rental, a 22-year-old man got into an argument with his father about girls he had met at a bar. When they arrived, the man jumped out, grabbed his father from behind and began choking him. His father said his son drank too much and that the girls his son met were going to take his money, but his son kept screaming that his father had ruined his chance with the girls. The man was arrested and taken to jail.
12:14 a.m. — 500 block of Harbor Cove Circle. Public Service. A woman who appeared intoxicated walked to her community’s guardhouse to ask for help after a cab dropped her off at home, then turned around and started walking home. She told police everything was fine and she was just walking home. Police accompanied her back to her residence.
Open and shut case
12:26 a.m. — 2100 block of GMD. Public Service. A condo resident called police because he accidentally locked himself on his balcony. A maintenance worker told police where to find the key to let him back inside.
1:02 p.m. — 600 block of Spanish Drive N. Suspicious Circumstance. A woman found a maintenance worker sleeping on a woman’s couch. The man said he checks the house for the owner but felt sick and laid down for a few minutes. The owner confirmed the arrangement but asked police to trespass him.
You gotta go
9:57 a.m. — 4000 block of GMD. Disturbance. A couple didn’t realize a bathroom at Bayfront Park was occupied, which angered a man whose wife was inside. He told them that they must be from Europe, but in this country, it’s common courtesy to knock before entering. The man admitted to pointing a spray bottle filled with vinegar at the woman because the couple blocked his car in with their motorcycles. Police gave him a trespass warning.
This one’s a head-scratcher
8:31 p.m. — 600 block of Longboat Club Road. Suspicious Person. A man with a German accent was looking for his shirt and kept scratching his head with a piece of driftwood. He sternly said that he didn’t drink when someone offered him a beverage and kept walking south on the beach.
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