Will the real housewives please stand up?

APRIL FOOLS —

The housewives of Longboat Key will not be flipping tables, detailing their lip injections or throwing extravagant 200-person birthday parties for toddlers in front of 3.7 million viewers like past “Real Housewives” cast members — they’re much too classy. But there might be a little gossiping on the show; but you didn’t hear that from us.

Bourgeois women of some of the most affluent communities in the nation have already been filmed in Orange County, Calif.; New York City; Atlanta; New Jersey; Beverly Hills; and Miami. On April 1, the sixth installation, “The Real Housewives of Longboat Key,” is hosting a casting call for its final members. So far, four lucky Longboat ladies have been selected for the show that is already shaping up to be a north end versus south end showdown. Television insiders say the show’s producers are already working on potential story lines that could include a blowup at the nail salon, an argument over what kind of wine to serve at a benefit dinner and a debate about which stretch of the beach is really the best for doing morning yoga.

“I’ve been trying so hard to keep it a secret,” says Wendy Feinstein, a south ender and one of the first women cast. “We had to sign a billion-page contract, so I don’t know who would have told.” She assumes it was one of the north-enders.

Executive producers have been casting under-the-radar for the past two months to find cast members for the four months of filming, set to start in the fall “when all the drama usually starts happening.” The Longboat Key spinoff marks the first time the show will have an open casting. According to one TV executive, “There were just too many potential reality show stars on the Key. We didn’t want to leave anyone out.”

“When I was approached, I thought, sure! What plane do I need to get on and when?” says north-ender Lillian Sands. Sands enjoys hosting fully catered, full-bar and full-service valet parties and book club meetings at her private beach-access home on the Gulf of Mexico.

North-ender Marcia Gutridge says she’s been meeting with producers for weeks trying to work out a filming schedule.

“I don’t know when they will find time to film,” says Gutridge. “I workout and play tennis every morning from 8 a.m. until the early afternoon.”

South-ender Carol Brualdi was unfamiliar with the show but thought it would be a new experience. Between her nine grandchildren, Pilates and yoga classes, she is also extremely involved in the arts. She frequents the Sarasota Opera and Florida Studio Theatre.

“I go to so many galas that I have to keep black-tie formal wear on-hand at all times,” Brualdi says. “Sure, I work out, but I’d rather spend my time in cultured activities than on the tennis courts all morning like other women on Longboat Key.”

It seems the producers will have their hands full trying to balance the women’s workouts, formal events, exotic vacations and the charity function planning meetings for the many events they chair.

“I think it will be a good promotion for Longboat Key,” says Sands. “We really aren’t the long-nosed snobs people think we are.”

Interested reality show stars can call Mallory Gnaegy at 366-3468, Ext. 360 for more information.