As a jay bird
12:12 a.m. — 1100 block of John Ringling Boulevard. Suspicious Person. A nude man was seen running down the street. Well, that’s one way to start off the new year.
Call for help
2:30 a.m. — 6500 block of Gateway Avenue. Disturbance. A deputy responded to the report of a disturbance in a bar. He spoke to one man involved in a confrontation. The man said he was in an argument with a transvestite and may have been slapped, but he wasn’t sure. The deputy called the complainant, who said he was a transsexual’s boyfriend. The complainant said the first man attacked his boyfriend, but he refused to be interviewed in person and was uncooperative on the phone. When the deputy said he needed to see them to continue his investigation, the boyfriend accused all law enforcement of being “sexist toward transsexuals,” and he berated the deputy, who hung up the phone.
12:57 p.m. — Irving Street and Brewer Place. Miscellaneous. A homeowner called police after she saw a toddler chasing a dog. The little boy was alone, and she didn’t recognize him. Police located the boy and the dog and went door-to-door to find his parents. They eventually did. The mother said she thought the boy was with his father. The father said he thought he was with his mother. The toddler had been missing for about 25 minutes before his parents noticed he was gone. They said they knew the boy could open the door but had not fixed it. Officers said the mother seemed unconcerned that her son could have wandered onto Tamiami Trail.
9:41 p.m. — 4400 block of Maygog Road. Possession of Drug Paraphernalia. A homeowner called the sheriff’s office, because a visitor would not leave. When a deputy arrived, he saw the visitor in the front yard. The visitor said he was leaving but needed to go back inside to get some belongings. The door opened, and the deputy saw a hash pipe on top of the refrigerator. At first, the visitor said he didn’t know anything about the pipe, then he said he was holding it for a friend. He was arrested.
Dude, someone got a Dell
9:41 a.m. — 600 block of Golden Gate Point. Theft. A man ordered a Dell computer, which was being shipped to his apartment. The man was out of town when the computer was delivered. The delivery driver called the man upon his return to see if he received the computer. The man had not. The driver had left the computer with a neighbor. The man asked the neighbor if he had the computer. Unaware of why the driver did not want to leave an expensive item outside of the man’s front door, that’s exactly where the neighbor left it. The new computer was stolen.
She’s not interested anymore
5:04 p.m. — 2400 block of West Milmar Drive. Harassing Phone Calls. A woman told police that a man she used to date is leaving harassing phone calls and e-mails. The man is not threatening her, but he calls her phone constantly and uses profanity toward her. He’s also leaving vulgar e-mails, which, as everyone knows, is the surest way to win back her heart.
Just take me to jail
11:42 p.m. — Waldemere Street and South Tamiami Trail. Driving Under the Influence. A sheriff’s deputy stopped a driver for making an improper left turn. Immediately upon seeing the man behind the wheel, the deputy suspected he could be drunk. He told the deputy he was heading home. The deputy noted that the man lived to the south, and he was traveling north. The driver then said he was on his way to a friend’s house. When the deputy asked where the friend lived, the man it didn’t matter where, it was just north. After performing poorly on two sobriety tests, the driver told the deputy he didn’t want to continue and just wanted to be taken to jail.