1:43 p.m. — Intersection of GMD and Longboat Club Road. Property Damage. A woman attempted to exit her community’s gate via scooter and struck the gate, instead.
No malfunctions here
8:49 p.m. — 600 block of Bay Isles Parkway. Property Damage. A man driving an SUV was tailgating another car and tried to go through a community gate without swiping a card. The gate went down on the SUV, possibly scratching its roof and passenger side. The security guard wanted the incident documented in case the SUV driver said that the damage was caused by a gate malfunction.
These are the people in your neighborhood
2:13 p.m. — 3100 block of GMD. Neighbor Disturbance. A man said that he and his wife were walking down a street when a neighbor accused him of trespassing. The man denied trespassing and said that the neighbor replied, “You $#*! coward.” The man told the neighbor: “Watch your $#*! mouth.” The man told police that the neighbor believes his road is private, but current homeowner association rules allow him to travel on the road.
In shell shock
9:17 a.m. — 500 block of Lyons Lane. Disturbance. A man told a driver that he ought to “kick his (expletive)” after the driver accidentally backed into his yard while trying to do a U-turn. The man said that he yelled at the driver, who may have damaged the plastic landscape trim that retains the shell in his front yard. But he had since calmed down and wanted nothing done.
7:10 p.m. — 1000 block of Longboat Club Road. Assault. A 73-year-old Longboat Key man’s 23-year-old girlfriend had been drinking and picked up a steak knife during an argument. The woman, who was visiting from Chicago, said that she had no idea what he was talking about and just wanted to catch a flight home. Police gave her a ride to the airport after both the man and the woman refused to give statements.
8:58 p.m. — 800 block of Broadway. Suspicious Circumstance. A woman found a typed note attached to her car telling her to remove her Obama 2012 bumper sticker from her vehicle.
12:45 a.m. — 500 block of Sutton Place. Disturbance. A man reported that his neighbor opened and closed her garage door multiple times between 12:41 a.m. and 12:48 a.m. The neighbor told police that she was retaliating for the man’s loose floorboards that keep her awake at night.
Those darned dogs
11:53 a.m. — 6600 block of GMD. Trespassing. A woman said that trespassers who are illegally accessing the beach through her property told her that someone named Nancy told them they could cross through there, even though no one named Nancy is authorized to grant them access. The woman also found a partial fish carcass and four raw meatballs in her yard and believes that someone may have been attempting to poison her Doberman service dog.
Rules were made to be broken
7:48 a.m. — 5500 block of GMD. Animal/Dog Nuisance. A man refused to answer police questions about whether his dog had been off of its leash in a park, saying he could self-incriminate. The man compared his dog being off the leash to driving 46 mph in a 45 mph zone. He also said that people are neurotic and parks are meant for playing.
Call of the wild
8:24 p.m. — 5100 block of GMD. Disturbance. The sound that a woman described as loud and “terrorist attack-like” turned out to be the call of a Chuck-will’s widow bird. Police suggested she close her window or learn to appreciate the sound of nature.
8:37 a.m. — 5100 block of GMD. Public Service. A woman reported seeing 15 slow-moving balls of light from her condominium unit. She was unable to contact air-traffic controllers at the local airport but said she would report the incident to the UFO reporting center.
11:38 a.m. — 7100 block of Longboat Drive N. Animal Nuisance. A woman reported that a male peacock keeps attacking her car when it sees its reflection in the gloss finish on the side of her car and asked whether the bird could be removed.
‘Candid Camera’: abandoned gas station edition
2 p.m. — 6900 block of GMD. Suspicious Circumstance. A man reported that two males were taking pictures of a possibly underage female wearing “provocative” clothing at an abandoned gas station. The female told police that she had asked her friends to take pictures of her for personal use. Police found that all subjects were of age and properly clothed.
Make like a tree and leave
11:51 a.m. — 600 block of Bay Isles Parkway. Suspicious Person. Police were unable to locate a nondescript subject reportedly standing by a tree waving his hands.
1:48 a.m. — 5800 block of GMD. Suspicious Circumstance. A man who was standing outside in the rain in front of his vehicle stopped along Gulf of Mexico Drive wearing his underwear and a small T-shirt said he was attempting to change his van’s windshield wipers, which weren’t working, and that he just happened to be wearing his underwear. Police changed the windshield wipers, escorted the man to the south end of the island and gave him directions to U.S. 41 from there.
1:10 a.m. — 4500 block of GMD. Disturbance. Police found a man who was banging on condo doors yelling “Bree” shirtless and smelling like alcohol in a garage. The man said he was trying to get his dog out of his SUV and warned police not to harass him because he is a very important person. He later called the police station and tried to get the dispatcher fired.
Time for a change
12:12 p.m. — 6900 block of GMD. Suspicious Person. Police responded to a suspicious incident involving a man in a vehicle parked in a vacant gas station lot who was possibly nude. The man said that there were no bathrooms to change in and thought that it would be okay to change clothes in his vehicle.
He’ll rock this exam
1:09 p.m. — 5300 block of GMD. Suspicious Person. A 22-year-old man who was reportedly throwing rocks at vehicles while waiting at a bus stop told police he was trying to burn the nervous energy he had about an upcoming dog-grooming exam he is planning to take.
These are the people in your neighborhood
7:55 a.m. — 7000 block of Longboat Drive N. Disturbance. Police responded to a report about a screaming woman. The woman said that she was having a heated phone conversation and was yelling but told police she would no longer call that person.
12:46 a.m. — 5800 block of GMD. Disturbance. A woman told police she brought a Polish man to her home from Texas to paint her house. She told police the Polish man began to call her names, and she didn’t appreciate his attitude. They both agreed to go to their separate rooms and stay away from each other until the man flew back to Texas.
Rules of engagement
6:16 p.m. — 5700 block of GMD. Trespassing. A man apologized for being rude to a condominium resident who told him and three others, who were staying at a hotel across the street, weren’t allowed to enter the beach from the condo property. The man said that the group was trying to be clandestine because they were trying to watch a man propose to his daughter.
9:04 a.m. — 4100 block of GMD. Harassing Phone Call. A dog groomer reported that a man has called, texted and emailed her multiple times because he wasn’t happy with the service. Police told her to inform the man that she no longer wants him as a client.
Lost and found
7:26 p.m. — Intersection of GMD and North Shore Road. Suspicious Circumstance. A man told police that an object that looked like a handgun fell out when his daughter grabbed a beach towel from a chair. The object turned out to be a toy water gun.
11:56 a.m. — 4700 block of GMD. Missing Person. A man’s wife reported him missing after she and her sons were unable to locate him but found his shirt and phone on a beach chair. A few minutes into a police search, the man waded to shore. He had fallen asleep on a foam noodle in the Gulf and drifted three-fourths of a mile before a boater spotted him and gave him a ride.